


What if?

by thiswillendinflames



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, No Spoilers for Book 2: Wayward Son, Watford Eighth Year, What-If, christmas break
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2021-01-03 06:07:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 22,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21174665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thiswillendinflames/pseuds/thiswillendinflames
Summary: What if the vampire attack in Watford didn't succeed, and Natasha Pitch was still alive? What if Baz hadn't turned into a vampire? What if Simon didn't grow up under the Mage's influence? What if there was no war with the old families? How different everything could be?





	1. Chapter 01

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone, I hope you'll enjoy the story.  
I started to write it before "Wayward Son" was released and only on the last days, I came back to write it again.  
Good reading, see you at the end.

Chapter 01 

**Simon**

The first weeks in Watford are always weird to me. I'm always relieved to be back in my room, my bed, where I know I belong. But at the same time, it's strange to be back here after spending months in a new orphanage. (It was like the last months were just a nightmare.) (Or these next ones a dream.)

But I'm happy. Watford has been my home for the last seven years, and this would be the last one I'd spend here before I had to face real life. If I get to have a life. The Humdrum was still out there, sucking magic in different spots, and I was supposed to be the one who will stop him.

I mean, it's undeniable that I'm powerful, everyone is always saying that no one ever saw someone like me. I was kinda prophesied. The chosen one. But most of the time, I don't feel like that guy is me. I do have too much power, but I never knew how to control it. I can't use it like everybody. The only thing I know is how to go off. Like a bomb. (And that doesn't seem too 'chosen one' to me.)

A knock on the door wakes me up. It's Saturday morning and these days I enjoy the lack of classes to sleep until I can. I look at Baz's bed and see that he's not in there, maybe he's already in football practice. Must be Penny, she uses to sneak in when Baz is out. 

But before I can leave my bed, the door is open and headmistress Pitch comes in.

"Good morning, Simon." She smiles warmly at me.

"Good morning." I smile at her. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you before."

"That's okay, I should know that Saturday the students like to sleep more." She sits at the end of my bed.

"Any news on the Humdrum?" I ask.

It's been some weeks since the classes started, but I hadn't got an opportunity to talk to her about that.

"Nothing." She sighs and I can see she is really exhausted.

Headmistress Pitch was the one who found me. I went off in an orphanage while I was sleeping, and she found me. Told me about magic, Watford, about who I was. She took care of me as no one had in my entire life.

I thought she would throw me out once it was clear that I didn't know how to control my power, but she didn't. Even so, I couldn't help to feel like I disappointed her. She never said anything like that to me, she always has been nice, warm and loving. It was nice to have someone like her.

"There's something I can do to help?" I ask.

"There is something." She looks at me and I see a bit of pity in her eyes. "The coven wants me to send you to another place. A safe place. Where you can hide from the Humdrum until we find out how to defeat him." I feel my heart accelerate.

"They wanna make me leave Watford?" I'm breathing fast. "I can't do it. This is the last year I can't leave." I feel tears in my eyes. I know this is my last year, so in some months I'll be leaving for good. But not now, I'm not ready to go. "Please, don't make me go."

"Simon, I…" She starts to say, and I feel my magic starting to leak through me.

**Baz**

I'm reaching the door of my room (our room) when I feel it. The familiar smoky scent, the drunk feeling that it comes together. Snow's magic.

I rush to get in, afraid that he could go off in our room when I see my mother talking to him. She's on his side, holding his hand, and trying to calm him down (what never works). He's shaking, his eyes are closed, but I can see that he’s crying.

"What's happening?" I ask when neither of them looks at me.

"Just breathe." My mother says to him, ignoring my question. Then she looks at me and I can see an ask for help.

I go to them, still not knowing what has happened. I sit in front of Snow, ready to help him. We're not really friends anymore (my fault), but by now I got used to calming him down when he is about to go off, especially when we're in our room. I take Snow's other hand and he opens his eyes with my cold touch.

"Baz." He says.

"Just breathe Snow. Breathe slowly, there's no danger in here." I say softly.

"I don't wanna go away." He says and I frown at my mother.

"The coven wants to take Simon to a safe place, out of Watford." She says and my heart skips a beat.

"They can't do this," I say. I don't want to think about being here for this last year without Snow.

It probably would be easier for me if he left. Maybe my feelings would go away for once, but I can't think in Watford without him. I've been in love with him for a long time now, and seeing him every day, sleeping in the bed next to him, was so hard. But not having him here would be worse.

And I know how much he loves Watford, would it be too mean to take him away in our last year, he doesn’t deserve that.

We were friends when we started Watford, he was one of my best friends actually, but with time I realized that my feelings for him were different from what I felt for Dev or Niall. I was 14, 15, and didn't know how to act to him with that revelation. So I chose what at that time I thought it was the easier solution, I avoided him. (What didn't resolve anything.)

“They can do it.” My mother says and I see the sadness in her eyes, she always liked him too. She walks to the door and asks me to follow her.

“I’ll be right back,” I say to Snow. “Just breathe.” He nods.

My mother and I walk in the hall and she turns to me.

“Mum, you can’t be serious. This is the only home he ever had.” He told me that after we came back in our second year.

“I don’t want to do it either, but the Humdrum only attacks him here. So for his safety and everyone else, he should go to a better place.”

“This isn’t fair, it’s not his fault,” I say. “What if this theory is wrong and the Humdrum sends something to attack us and Simons isn’t here to save us? He is the one who always defeats the treats.” She sighs.

"I'll try to talk to the coven. But they may not accept this." She looks at me. "Go back there Basil, he needs you." She kisses me on my forehead and then leaves.

**Simon**

My breathing is still irregular and it seems that my heart will burst out of my chest any second now. I'm starting to be back in control of my magic (or something close to that), but the thoughts of leaving Watford are keeping me insane.

Baz walks into the room a few minutes after he left with his mother, but now he's alone. He comes back to sit in front of me and says nice things to try to calm me down. He was the only one who could do it. I don't know why.

When the Crucible cast us together, we became friends, during the day he still had his other friends and I had Penny, but especially when we were in our room, we were like best friends.

But after some time, about our fourth, fifth year, he started to drift away from me, we didn't share more secrets, stories, jokes. Baz just started to ignore me. Closing himself in his own mind.

Except when I was about to go off. Even when we were kids he was the only one who could make me come back to normal, and thankfully he never stopped doing that.

I still miss it though. It was nice having him close, talking to him every day. Even sharing a room with him wasn't enough. I missed him.

"I don't wanna leave." I say again, this time without crying.

"You won't. I promise." He says holding my hand again. "I talked to my mother, she'll speak with the coven. I won't let them take you away, okay?" His voice is so soft, and his eyes are full of concern, I feel like we were friends again.

"Thanks, Baz." I say wiping my eyes. Feeling control over my magic. (Control enough to not go off.)

“Better?” He asks.

“Yeah. I know I probably would be better if I leave, but I can't …” I look at him.

“I know, I wouldn't do it either.” He says and the way he is looking at me makes my face heat. “You should go eat your breakfast, or you’ll lose it.” He says leaving my bed and avoiding my gaze again. I think his cheeks were a bit red too, but I might be imagining.

“Right,” I say standing up. “Food. I should go.”

I run to change my clothes and then I rush to eat and talk to Penny. In this right order, my stomach was already complaining, wanting food.

I find Penny in the dining hall, she is reading some book and doesn't see me coming. I go take something to eat and see Agatha eating with some girls from the lacrosse team. She waves once she sees me and I wave back. Since we broke up last year things got a little weird, we talk sometimes, but it is not like we were friends again. (And honestly, I didn't miss it.)

Penny looks up when I sit by her side and raise an eyebrow to me.

"You look like shit." She says.

"Thanks."

"What happened? Nightmares again?" I shake my head while I shove a scone into my mouth.

"Headmistress Pitch was in my room this morning." I say. "The coven wants me to go to another place."

"After Watford?" She asks, disgusted with my manners.

"No, now."

"What?"

"They want me to leave Watford."

"You can't leave Si." She holds my arm.

"I know, I told her no."

"You told her no?" She is surprised.

"Yeah. I …." I rub my neck. "I almost went off." I say looking at her.

"I knew I was smelling your magic. Did you go off on the headmistress?" I shake my head again.

"No, Baz appeared and helped me to calm down." She seems to be thinking.

"I always thought weird that Baz is the only one who can help you."

"We used to be best friends when we were kids." I shrug.

"So, was I. And I still am your best friend."

"I don't know Penny. But I do know that I'm not leaving okay? Headmistress Pitch will talk to the coven."

"Good. You can't leave in our last year."

"I know. I won't." I say and she smiles at me.

**Baz**

Snow went to eat and left me alone with my thoughts. I try to study, but I keep thinking about how it would be if he really left. I am lost in my thoughts when I feel, suddenly, cold. Like the room had frozen in a second.

Then, I see a woman near Snow's bed and I almost fall from my chair. It takes me a moment to realize she is a visitor. Since the veil started to open a few weeks ago, lots of people started receiving visits. I don't recognize the women, but she looks familiar.

"My rosebud boy." She says. "Where is he? This is his place." She looks at me.

"I'm sorry, who are you?"

"My name is Lucy, I'm looking for my son. My rosebud boy." She looks at Snow's bed again.

"You're Simon's mother." I say and she nods. "He's not here now, you can come later again?"

"I don't know if I'm strong enough to come back again." She sighs. "You will have to do it." She stands in front of me and I can see she is starting to fade. "Tell my son I was here. Tell him I loved him more than anything in this world, that I would never have left him, he meant the world to me." She has tears in her eyes. "I wanted him, I always did. Tell him, tell him …" I almost can't see her anymore.

"I will tell him, I promise." My eyes are tearing up.

"My rosebud boy." I can only hear her voice. And then she's gone.

I sit in my chair again still not believing in what just happened.

Simon's mother was here.

Looking for him.

And he didn't see her. 

Since we were kids, Snow wanted to know who his parents were. Why they left him. And now his mother came back to talk to him and he was not even here. It makes me wanna cry. How unfair this is.

If it was with me, I would be very mad, upset, sad. I love my mother and our relationship is great, I can’t even think about losing her.

I think about waiting for Snow to come back to the room, so I can tell him, but the football practice is about to start and if I don't leave now, I'm gonna be late. So I just change my clothes at super-fast speed and run to the pitch.

In the middle of the practice, I notice Snow watching the game. He waves at me when he sees that I'm looking at him. I wave back, thinking about how I'll tell him about his mother and how gorgeous he is in this light. (In all lights, whatever.)

Only when the ball almost hits my head that my attention goes back to the practice and I try to forget Snow. (Like I could.) But I try my best, and even though I'm not on my best day, I'm still better than the rest.

I want to talk to Snow once the practice is over, but soon the coach will let us go, I look to where Simon was and see that he's already left. It's near lunchtime, so I guess he'll be in the dining hall, eating again. He's always eating.

I go back to Mummers House, to shower, before going to lunch and I expect to find Snow in someplace, but he's not anywhere. Even in the dining hall. I keep looking for him for hours, until I give up and go to our room, to wait for him there.

**Simon**

I spent all day with Penny. We go to lots of places, but in the end, we go to the library and stay there all afternoon. I'm still anxious, waiting for Headmistress Pitch appears in every corner to take me out.

Penny does her best trying to distract me, I pretend it's working, but the thought of leaving Watford doesn't leave my mind. I know that Penny it's worried too, but right now there's nothing we can do except wait and hope that they will forget that idea.

I go back to the Mummers House before dinner. I want to leave some books I took before going to eat. Baz is in our room, and once I open the door he almost jumps from his chair and comes in my direction.

"Finally." He says. "Where have you been? I looked for you everywhere."

"I was in the library." What does he want with me? "Why were you looking for me?" I ask.

"I need to talk to you. Something very important." My mind goes through a thousand things he could say.

"Okay." I say, afraid of what he could say.

"It might be better if you sit." He's nervous.

"Okay." I repeat, sitting in my bed.

Baz sits in his bed, staying in front of me.

"So, you know that with the veil lifting, a lot of people are receiving visitors, right?" I nod. "This morning, you got visited."

"Me? Who was it? When did it happen?" I'm so surprised.

"It was this morning after you left. I don't know why she wasn't where you were, maybe she wasn't strong enough to search for you."

"She? It was a woman?"

"Yes. She was near your bed, and she said she was looking for you, her rosebud boy." He blushes.

"Rosebud boy?" I don't understand. "Who was it?" I ask and Baz gives me a sad look and then I understand. "It was my mother?" He nods and I feel tears in my eyes.

"She was looking for you." He repeats and then he catches a notebook and reads. "She asked me to tell you that she had been here for you. That she loved you more than anything, and that you meant the world to her." The tears are running through my cheeks. "She said that she didn't want to leave you, that she wanted you, always did." He looks at me.

"She was really here?" I ask.

"She was. Her name was Lucy." Lucy. Pretty name. My mother's name.

I try to say something, but I choke with my words and then I crumble. I start to cry hard. Baz comes to sit by my side to comfort me, he knows how important this was to me. He puts an arm around my shoulders and then he pulls me closer. And then I'm sobbing in his clothes.

My mother came through the veil, for me. To talk to me. She didn't want to abandon me. She loved me. Really did. It was not a weird dream or an excuse, like the one I used to give when I was a child. My mother loved me. She didn't want to leave.

I feel my magic coming. Leaking through me again.

"Simon." Baz says holding me tighter. "Breathe okay? It's okay."

I try to say something, but again I choke with my words.

"Simon, look at me." Baz says dropping his arm, and then lifting my chin. "Open your eyes." I do. And then I'm locked in a grey ocean. "Breathe with me." I nod and start to keep with his breathing, but it's not working. He holds my hands.

Then, I started to freak out more. Because my mother was here. And I didn't see her. And because Baz is trying to help me, but it's not working. Because I don't want to go off again. I don't want to hurt Baz.

"Simon, just talk to me." Baz sees my panic. "Use your words." His voice is soft. "I'm here with you. Talk to me."

I try, but again I fail. I try to calm my magic, that is all over our room.

Then, I do something I never did before. I try to push my magic away from me. And I see Baz's arms standing straight.

**Baz**

Simon is about to go off again. I think this time I might not be able to help him. But then he squeezes my hand and I feel a wave of heat and electricity running through my veins.

And I feel stronger.

Powerful.

"Simon, what's happening?" I ask.

"I don't know." His eyes are wide. "I was thinking of throwing my magic away. In pushing out of my body."

"I think you pushed it to me. You're sharing your magic with me." I say, amazed.

"I didn't think this was possible." He says.

"Me neither." Simon takes off his hands from my grip.

Then, there's nothing. All the heat and the amazing feeling it was inside me, it's gone.

"Are you okay?" He asks.

"I think I should be asking that to you. But I'm fine."

"Do you still have some of it? My magic?"

"No, it's all gone," I say. "Are you feeling better?"

"I guess so." He shrugs. "At least I'm not about to go off."

"What about what I just told you?" I ask, afraid that he could go off again.

"I don't know." He sighs. "I never thought I would find out something about my parents. I always hoped, but I never really believed that."

"You want to look for information about your mother?"

"Maybe. I don't know. I just want to sleep now, I feel exhausted." He closes his eyes.

"You want to eat something? I could bring some food for you if you don't want to leave the room." He shakes his head.

"No, I'll just take a shower and sleep. If you find Penny could you please tell her that I was not feeling okay? And tomorrow I'll explain it to her." I nod. (He must be feeling awful, he never skips a meal.)

"You'll be okay being alone?" I ask.

"Yeah. Don't worry." He wipes his eyes and then goes to the bathroom.

I leave for dinner not wanting to leave Snow, no matter what he says, he shouldn't be alone. But I need to eat. All this sharing magic thing drained me. Even if it was only for a couple of minutes. (An amazing couple of minutes.)

I still don't know how he did it. I never saw or read something like this. But Snow's magic is also something that no one ever saw. And now I knew how it was. (A part of it, at least.) His power is much bigger than I thought. I might have to do some research on it.

My dinner passes in a blur. I tell Penelope what Simon asked me, and then I sit with my friends, eating the fastest that I could. I was looking like Snow, without any proper manners at the table. Once I finish, I take some food for him. He'll be hungry eventually. (He's always hungry.)

But when I get into our room, he's already sleeping. I try not to make any noise, and then I open the window because Snow prefers it. I leave the food on his desk and then I walk by his side.

I look at him for a while. He is a mess, even when he is sleeping. (A lovely mess.) 

His blanket is on the floor, so I take it and then I cover him. I look at him again and without thinking, I push his curls away from his forehead, containing myself from the desire of kissing him. (By now I was very good at avoiding that.)

I just sit in my bed and keep looking at him. Still worried that he could go off. After some minutes I lay down, but it takes me more time to convince my mind that it was okay for me to sleep.

**Simon**

I wake up with a terrible headache. It takes me a couple of minutes to remember what Baz told me, and what happened after. (A couple of minutes to make my headache worse.)

I look to Baz's bed and see him sleeping peacefully. He's covered up until his neck, always with cold. Or colder than me. I get up, and close the window, knowing that Baz prefers that way.

Then, I walk to the bathroom trying to be quiet. I didn't want to wake him. Once I'm ready, I go to the dining hall and see that it was later than I thought. I guess Baz didn't have a good night, because on the weekends he usually wakes up first then me. Although I did sleep very early yesterday. All these thoughts vanish when I see Penny. I have to tell her everything.

"Penny." I almost yell.

"Hey, what happened to you? Baz told me you were not feeling okay." She looks worried.

"Yesterday morning, Baz got visited." I tell her, ignoring her question.

"Really? I would love to have one. Who was it?"

"It was not for Baz, it was for me." I say, still not believing it. Penny squeezes my arm.

"What? Did you get visited? For whom?"

"My mother." I say tearing up.

"Your mother? Si, that's …" She sounds excited but then stops. "That means she is …"

"Dead." I complete.

"I'm so sorry." She says.

"Yeah, it sucks." I look away. "But it's nice to at least know the truth."

"She talked to Baz?" She asks in a soft voice.

"She did." I nod. "She told him that her name was Lucy, and she was looking for me. She asked him to tell me that she didn't want to leave me." I look at Penny again. "She said she loved me." I smile a bit. "Can you believe it?" I ask. "It's not something I invented, my mother didn't want to abandon me, Penny." She hugs me. "I just wanted to have seen her."

"I'm so sorry Si." She says.

We stayed hugged for some seconds, but then we break apart and I wipe the unfallen tears that were gathering in my eyes.

"Something other than that happened last night. Once we finish breakfast I would like to try something with you." She looks confused but nods in the same way.

"Okay, once you're finished we can go."

"But have to be in a private place." She looks even more confused, but again only nods.

I take my time eating breakfast. I was starving since I hadn’t got dinner last night. (I never skip a meal, so I was really hungry.) But once I finish, Penny and I leave the dining hall. We go to the Wavering Woods because it is Sunday morning and no one will be there.

"Okay." I say when we stop. "After Baz told me about my mother last night, I started to go off again."

"Twice in a day? Simon, this is too dangerous." She says exasperated.

"I know Penny. But when I was about to go off again, Baz came to help me, he held my hand, trying to calm me down, and I started to think of pushing a bit of my magic away from me, but instead, I pushed to Baz."

"What?"

"I shared my magic with Baz. I just thought about it and then my magic was not too much for me. Was the right amount. And Baz was stronger, with my power."

"Simon that's not possible. No one ever did something like this."

"I know. But I also know what happened." I say taking her hand. "I shared my magic with Baz, and once I stopped holding his hands my magic came back all it to me."

"That's incredible. Maybe I can research something, look if someone already did something like this."

"Okay. But now I wanted to try with you. If it worked with Baz, then it must work with you, right?" She nods enthusiastically.

"Do it." She says squeezing my hand.

I think in letting my magic go away. I open up somehow and push only a bit of my power, less than I pushed to Baz. In the same instant, Penny takes back her hand, shaking and almost crying.

"Aleister Crowley." She is holding her hand.

"I'm sorry Penny. I'm so sorry." I say feeling guilty. "It was less than I pushed to Baz. I thought you wouldn't even feel it."

"I can assure you that I did. But don't worry, I'm sure that soon it will be better." She hides her hand from me.

"Should we go to the nursery?" I ask worriedly.

"No, I'll be fine. And what we would say? That you are giving me your magic?" She takes my hand again carefully. "Simon, don't tell anyone about this okay?" I nod to her. "There are a lot of people who would love to use you, your magic, so don't tell anyone, at least until we know how it works." She says.

"Okay. I won't."

"Good, let's come back, I still have to finish the greek homework. Do you want help?"

"Yeah, I'm still lost in it."

"I know." She laughs.

We walk back, and despite telling me she is okay, I can see that her hands are red and she keeps shaking it.

**Baz**

I wake up very late. Last night was terrible for me to sleep. When I do wake up, it is almost lunchtime and Snow is not in the room anymore. The window is closed and I bet he did it. I can’t help but smile. These little things are what always make me hopeful, that he has secret feelings for me too. Or that someday he’ll.

I shake my head, trying to expel these thoughts. It makes me no good to keep wondering about it. He’s just a friend, or it would be if I let it. I know he misses my friendship, I heard him talking to Penelope one day about it. I think I could try harder to make it work. To bury deeper my feelings and being his friend again.

The shower wakes me more, and I decide to stop thinking about Simon, at least for a while. I should go eat something and then do my homework. Maybe I should read a book, try to take my thoughts to a different universe than mine. It could help.

I do as I plan, and keep studying or reading the whole day. Once again, I don’t see Simon at all, which helps me to distract. He must be with Penny, getting her help in greek or political sciences. He was always struggling with it.

After dinner, I go to our room, I needed to have a good night of sleep. I was still tired from the few hours I had slept that night and didn’t want to sleep in class tomorrow. But before I could even change my clothes, Simon gets into our room.

“Hey, Baz.” He says. “Didn’t see you the whole day.”

“Yeah. I’ve been studying in our room.”

“Listen.” He rubs the back of his neck. “I told Penny about my mother’s visit.” He frowns, I think it’s still weird for him to say those words. “And the sharing magic thing.”

“She knew something about another magician who did it?” I ask.

“No, she thought it was insane. I tried to do the same with her, but it didn't work.”

“What?”

“I thought of pushing it, just like yesterday, but I put some control, I pushed less to her than to you, but it was like I had struck her with lightning.” Is it strange for me to feel happy for Simon’s magic doesn't work with his best friend, but works with me?

“Really?” I’m very interested.

“Yeah, it was like I had burned her hands, she kept saying to me she was okay, but I know she was lying.” He looks at me. “Did it hurt? When I pushed my magic to you?”

“No, not at all. It was great, like when you have a hot chocolate on a cold day you know?” I feel my cheeks getting warmer. “I don’t know how to explain, but it didn't hurt.”

“Okay.” He seems to be thinking. “Do you wanna try again? To see if it works or if it was just an isolated moment.” Is his turn to be blushing.

“Yeah.” I answer, of course, I want to share something so precious as magic. (His magic.)

Then he nods and sits on his bed and I sit in front of him. He extends his hands and I take them. It is good to hold his hands when he’s okay, not about to go off. When he’s paying attention.

“Okay.” He licks his lips, which draws my attention, immediately. “I’m gonna push, only a little.” I nod and he closes his eyes.

He seems to be concentrating. For a second I don’t feel anything. But then it hits me. It’s slower than yesterday, only a heatwave passing through my fingers. Then going through my arms. And when I notice, my whole body is filled with his magic. I feel like I could fly right now. Jump through the window and fly.

“Please don’t.” Simon says with a smile on his lips. I guess I thought it out loud. “It really doesn’t hurt you?”

“No.” I say, again amazed by the feeling. “I feel extremely powerful.” I smile at him.

“Can you cast something?” He asks curiously.

“I guess so.” I close my eyes and even though I’m without my wand I say, putting a lot of magic on it. (His magic.) (Our magic.)  **“Twinkle, twinkle, little stars.”** And then our whole room is a galaxy. “How do you have this much power?” I ask and Snow shrugs, both of us amazed by the sky above us.

“I don’t know. It is always here. But it also doesn't help a lot, right? If I can’t control it.” He seems sad, but then he looks to our private sky again. “This is amazing, I never saw something like that.” I keep looking at him.

“Yeah. It’s amazing.”

“I want to stay here forever. Without the Humdrum to face, or homework to do.” He laughs and I laugh with him.

“It would be nice.” I want to say that I would love to stay here because of him, but I don't. I just watch Simon and then the stars.

“I will pull out.” He says and then there’s nothing again.

He keeps looking at where our sky was before. But now our room is back, and we’re only two people, still holding hands in a normal room.

“I feel so tired.” He says, yawning.

“Me too.” I’m knackered.

"You think someone here knew my mother?" He asks and I'm surprised with the sudden change of subject. "I always thought she was a Normal, but since she came through the veil, it means she was one of us, right?"

"Probably. Maybe the teachers know something or my mother. We could talk to her tomorrow if you want."

"Maybe." He says looking away. "I'm kinda afraid of seeing your mother now." He says.

"Why?" I frown at him.

"Maybe if she doesn't see me, she'll forget about sending me away."

"Simon, I told you already, no one will take you from here. My mother likes you, very much actually. She won't send you away." I hope she doesn't anyway.

"Okay." He nods. "Will you go with me? Talk to her?"

"Of course. After our classes, we can go."

**Simon**

I almost slept in my classes the next morning. After the whole sharing magic thing, it took me a couple of hours turning on my bed, for me to finally be able to sleep. And now I was crashing into my desk.

I feel Baz's elbow on my ribs and I sit straight trying to pay attention in class. We were in Magical Words class and Baz was my partner for the day. I was exhausted and I knew Baz was too, but he was a good student, a great one, he would never sleep in class. (I would.) (I am.)

To me, the classes last longer than usual. Even lunch seems too long. I don't know when Baz and I will talk to his mother, which makes the time pass slower.

Penny keeps glancing at me the whole day. She feels that something is odd, but doesn't know what. She asks me if I want to talk, but I don't. I just wanted to go back to my room and sleep. Or go to talk to Headmistress Pitch soon. 

Oddly I want to be with Baz now. He is sitting on his table, with his friends. I feel that somehow he is the only one who could understand me. Who I could talk to.

Penny drags me to our last class of the day, while I try to think positive that today, Monday, we have fewer classes. After what seems hours, we finally are free from classes. At least for the day. I almost run to Baz, who is already outdoors. I give a short goodbye to Penny and go.

"Baz." I shout. He says something to his friends and then they keep walking and Baz turns to me.

"Snow." He says.

"Can we go talk to your mother now?" I ask anxiously.

"I have practice now." He says. I should know that. I mean I'm in almost all of his practices. (Or all of them.)

"Oh right," I say. "I'll meet you in our room after then."

"You're not gonna watch the practice today?" He asks, and then he looks away looking embarrassed with the question.

"When did I miss it?" I ask, smiling at him. He smiles back and I feel something weird in my stomach and then I’m blushing.

"See you back there then." He says turning away.

I drag Penny with me to the pitch to watch the practice. She complains at first, but goes anyway and helps me with my homework.

I'm looking at the game for some minutes while Penny explains something that I'm not hearing. My attention is all in Baz, and it hasn't how to be different. He draws everyone's attention with his skills. He scores for his team and some other players go to compliment him. He smiles at them and again I feel something different inside me.

"Simon," Penny calls me. "Do you want to pay attention to me and not in Baz?" She asks and suddenly I feel like I was burning. (More than usual.)

"I was watching the game," I say. But I know that I was staring at Baz. I just didn't know why. Penny rolls her eyes.

"If you wanna my help you'll have to pay attention to me."

"Fine. Sorry." I say turning to her, not before glancing Baz again.

**Baz**

I met Snow in our room after the practice. He was there on the pitch, watching the game as always, but again he left once the practice was over. When I walk in, Simon is walking in our room, running his fingers through his hair. Clearly, he was nervous.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"Baz." He shouts when he sees me.

"You seem nervous." He nods.

"I'm, very much."

"I think my mother is in her office, do you wanna go now?"

"Yes, let's do this." He says trying to look calmer.

We walk together until the Weeping Tower where I think my mother will be. When we reach the front doors, I knock, and the doors open to me, as it always does, because my mother allows it.

"Basil." She smiles when she sees me. "Simon." If she is surprised by him being with me, she doesn't show.

"Mum, we wanted to know if you can help with something." I look to Snow and see that he's looking to the floor, avoiding my mother's gaze.

"Of course." She says. "Sit, please." She indicates the chairs in front of her.

"So …" I start when we sit, Snow still not looking at anyone. "This weekend, Simon got visited, or I got visited for him." She frowns. "He was not in the room, and the visit appeared there."

"Who was it?" My mother asks.

"My mother." Simon answers looking to my mother for the first time since we walked in. "I want to know if she studied here." He says. "We just know her first name, it was Lucy."

"We had a lot of Lucy's here." She seems to be thinking.

"She had curly hair …" I start thinking about what I remember and then I turn to Simon. "Actually, you look a lot like her."

"I do?" He asks surprised and my mother looks at him too.

"She seemed young, maybe a little older than us."

"Let me see." She goes to the school's files, which were in a corner.  **"Fine-tooth comb - Lucy!"** Some files fly to my mother's hands.

For what I could count, it was more than ten files. She starts to take pictures from the files and I start to look at them, trying to recognize the woman I saw it. Simon looks at them too, and then he picks one and freezes.

"This is her, right?" He shows it to me. Yes, that was the woman who appeared to me.

"Yes," I say taking a picture of his hands. "This is her. Your mother." I hand it to my mother.

"Lucy Salisbury." She says. "I remember her. She was a sweet girl, very smart and powerful."

"Like me?" Simon asks.

"No one is like you Simon." She looks at him warmly. "But I didn't know her too well to give you better information. You should talk to her friends from school."

"Who are them?"

"Actually this is a very good coincidence, now that I'm thinking about it, she was best friends with Mitali Bunce." That was a coincidence.

"Penelope's mum?" He's surprised.

"Yes. They were inseparable back in the days." She holds his hands over the table. "You should talk to her." He nods.

"I'm going to talk to Penny." He stands from his chair. "Thank you, Headmistress Pitch." He says to mum and turns to me. "See you later." He almost runs out of the office and I keep looking at the door, even after he already left.

"He needs you at this moment Basilton." My mother says. "Someone he can count on."

"He has Penelope," I say, turning to her.

"He does. But not even her understands him completely, they don't have the same connection you both have." She gives me a look as she knows about everything.

I mean, she knows a few things, like the fact that I'm gay and she's okay with it. But she doesn't know about my feelings for Simon, at least I never told her. I think she might have figured that out, it's not like I'm hiding something and she has always been too good in reading me.

"You should invite him to stay with us at Christmas Break." She says.

“What?” I ask, surprised. "Mum, I know you want to help him, I want that too. But he'll probably be in Wellbelove's house." But I stop to think about it and they are not talking anymore since their break up. (What I enjoyed too much.) "Or with the Bunce's." More probably.

"Okay. But if he needs a place to stay, offer ours please." She says.

"I will," I say.

**Simon**

I ran to find Penelope to tell what Headmistress Pitch just told me. Our mothers were best friends. Who would guess? I smile with that, it was like destiny had put us both together.

I find her in the courtyard, talking with Agatha, who sees me coming and smiles at me, but gets up and leaves before I could reach them.

When I started to date Agatha, I thought I was so lucky to have the most pretty girl of Watford with me. But that started to lose meaning with time. After some years we barely spoke with each other and our relationship was terrible.

She was the one who wanted to break up. I didn't dare to do it before. But I thank her for that. Clearly, I was not interested in her, romantically speaking.

Penny looks up when Agatha leaves and gives me a sad smile. Her friendship with Agatha was not the same since the break up either, but they were better than Agatha and me and I didn't want to stand in their way.

“It sucks that you both still can’t be friends.” She says when I sit by her side.

“Give it time. Maybe eventually we’ll move on.” I say.

“You don’t want to get back together?” She asks, surprised.

“No. You were right, we were terrible together.”

“This is something I like to hear.” She smiles. “So, did you talk with the headmistress?”

“Yeah, that’s what I came to talk to you about.” I turn to her. “My mother was Lucy Salisbury and she was your mother’s best friend.” I smile at her.

“What?” She asks, also surprised. “Simon, that is …” She thinks in a word to say it.

“Amazing?” She nods, smiling. “I thought that maybe we could talk to her on Christmas break.” Her smile fades.

“Oh, Si. I forgot to tell you.” She rubs her neck.

“What?”

“We’ll travel to Greece, my mother wants to do some research about the magic in there.”

“Oh,” I say.

“I’m sorry Si. I forgot to tell you.” She says again.

“That’s okay.” I try to smile at her. “I’ll stay in school, it's only a couple of weeks.”

“Talk to Agatha, maybe you could stay in her place.”

“Penny, we aren't even speaking and I think that one month won’t change that. It’s better if I stay here. That is no problem. Really.” She seems guilty about it. “Just ask your mum about it, okay?” She nods.

“I will, I promise.”

We stayed there for some more minutes, talking about some random things. Then she goes to the Cloisters and I go to the Mummers House, we have some time before dinner and Penny wants to go take a shower.

I walk in my room, at the same time Baz leaves the bathroom. He’s without his shirt and his hair was loose around his face, not slicked back as always. I don’t know why but that vision of him made me blush and suddenly I felt very hot, almost if I was about to go off. And again that weird feeling in my stomach.

“Oh, hey, Snow.” Baz says when he sees me. “Didn't hear you coming in.” He's a bit embarrassed, we never change clothes in front of the other.

"Yeah." I say dumbly, still not thinking straight. "I mean …" I clear my throat. "I was just gonna lay down a bit before dinner." I say and then I do lay down in my bed.

Baz just nods to me and goes to his wardrobe. I think that I never had paid too much attention to Baz, but then I realize that this is not true, because I clearly know every little detail of his face. (Better than my own actually.)

I never paid attention to the rest of him, like his chest, that was exposed now. He had some muscles in there, more than me. He takes a white shirt and it's a beautiful contrast against his skin. In some seconds, he's already buttoning his shirt and then there's nothing exposed anymore. (Unfortunately.)

But the hot feeling from before is not gone yet. I keep looking at him and wanting to open his shirt again and feel his skin with my touch.

This thought makes me freeze.

Where are these thoughts coming from?

"Snow, are you okay?" Baz's voice snaps me from my mind.

"Yeah." I noticed that I was staring at him with my mouth open. (He would call me mouth breather.) "I am just freaking out because I still didn't study for the test tomorrow." I think of the fastest lie.

"Oh. If you want, I could help you." He offers.

"Okay." I say, still trying to figure out why I was thinking about touching Baz. And kissing him. (Right now, I was definitely thinking about kissing him.)

“We have some time until dinner. Do you want to study now?” He asks sitting in his bed. I nod to him, not trusting in my words. “Okay, there is something specific that you need help with?” He looks at me and I clear my throat, trying to go back to normal (not Normal) and say.

“Well, Penny helped me these days with homework, so I think I’m understanding a little better.”

“Do you wanna go through the important topics?” He asks.

“Yeah, let’s do this.” I take my books and notebooks.

Baz starts to read something from his book and I try to pay attention, but I keep being distracted with some things. Like the spark in his eyes while he talks (like all the times he talks about something he likes), or the way his voice sounds excited about what he’s talking now.

He leans forward to read something from his book again and his hair falls over his face. I had never seen him with his hair like this. I liked it. Not that the other way doesn't make him look good. (Because honestly, everything makes him look good.) (Too good.) But this way he looks better.

“You should wear your hair like this more often.” I regret my words as soon as they leave my mouth. Baz raises an eyebrow at me.

“What?”

“I’m sorry. Didn’t want to interrupt you.” I feel my cheeks blushing. “I just … I never saw you wear your hair like that.” I point to him. “It looks very good.” I give a half-smile and look at my book, trying to avoid Baz’s gaze.

"Okay…. Thank you." I glanced at him and saw that his cheeks were red too. He clears his throat and starts to read again.

**Baz**

I don't know what is happening with Simon. In these last few days, he started to act weird. Every time I talk to him he blushes and is always having trouble to answer me like suddenly his brain was shut down.

And had the day when he just said I looked good when I forgot to slick back my hair. No, not only good. Very good. I keep going back to those words all the time. Wishing that he meant something with it.

He also keeps asking my help with our assignments and tests. And I know he could ask for Penelope's help, but I wouldn't turn down an opportunity of helping, being close and spending more time with him.

I didn't ask anything else about his mother and he doesn't mention either. I guess he's waiting for the Christmas break to talk to Penelope's mother, so after we come back, I'll ask him.

The things were calm on Watford, too calm. The Humdrum didn't attack us yet, what it was new. That leaves me hopeful that the coven will see that "sending Simon away" idea was nonsense. But I think too soon.

It is the beginning of December when it happens. Most of the students are in class, but Miss Possibelf was sick today (what never had happened before) and I, along with 20 other colleagues from eight-year, were free.

I was sitting outside with Niall and Dev when I felt the air go itch and dry. They looked in panic in my direction, but I don't know what to do. Snow is the one who always defeats whatever the Humdrum sends it. I look to the sky and see a small red point that is becoming bigger each second.

Then I hear a noise and see some students running from inside to see what's happening. I spot Snow at the same instant.

He has his sword on his hand and Penelope at his side, but he even stops to see what the Humdrum sent it this time. He just runs to where the Dragon (that now is so close that I recognize) and attacks.

So, I do the last thing I should do and run after him.

"Simon!" I yell when I get close to him. He's moving his sword against the dragon. "Don't kill it." I say but he doesn't listen to me and keeps attacking the dragon. "Simon, don't kill the dragon." I spell my voice so he can hear it.

"What?" He asks looking at me like I was crazy.

"The dragon doesn't want to be here." I say. "Let me take care of it." I say and he stops and comes by my side.

"Okay." He nods to me but keeps his sword ready.

**"Ladybird, ladybird, fly away home, your house is on fire, and your children are gone."** I start casting a spell with a nursery rhyme. It is one of the most powerful things in our world.  **"Ladybird, ladybird, fly away home, your house is on fire, and your children shall burn. All except one, and her name is Nan, and she hid under the porridge pan."** I keep going, the dragon is still aiming Simon and almost toasts him. ** "Ladybird, ladybird, fly away home, your house is on fire, and your children shall burn."** I cast louder.

"Baz is not working," Simon yells at me, running, trying to escape the dragon's fire.

**"All but one, and that's little John, and he lies under the grindle stone."** I continue, putting a lot of magic on it, but Simon is (shockingly) right.

He runs to me, and his face lights up. I think he had an idea.

**"Ladybird, ladybird, fly away home, your house is on fire, and your children shall burn."** He stops by my side again and holds my arm.  **"All except one, and her name is Aileen, and she hid under a soup tureen."** I don't know what he's trying to do. Until I do.

My arm, which was shaking, starts to straight up, and I feel like something is filling me up. Not something. Simon's magic. I don't look at him because I'm afraid of breaking the spell, but I feel the waves of his power, rushing through me.

**"Ladybird, ladybird, fly away home, your house is on fire, and your children shall burn."** My voice is louder, and I feel so good, it is like I could do anything. Cast any spell and rule the world.  **"Ladybird, ladybird, fly away home!"** Finally, the dragon goes away and I stop casting the rhyme.

It takes a second to Simon to let my arm go and to take his magic with him. After that, I feel like I should lay down and sleep. It was like his magic had drained me. I look to Simon and see that he looks just like me.

"Are you okay?" He asks with a short breath.

"Yeah, you?" I ask and he nods.

"Boys." I hear my mother behind us. When we look, we see her and Penelope coming in our way. "What happened?" She looks worried when she looks at me but doesn't say anything.

"The Humdrum sent a dragon." Simon says. "Baz send it away."

"Yeah, with your help," I say. "If it weren't for your …" I start but he cuts me.

"I was only being the distraction and the moral support for your spell." He laughs nervously and I look confused.

"Yeah, I saw it. Great spell Baz." Penelope smiles at me, but I don't know what is happening.

"Alright." My mother is a bit confused too. "The dragon hurt any of you?" She asks and we shake our heads. "I'll report this to the coven. If you both need something to come to talk to me." She looks at us and then leaves.

"So this sharing magic thing is real?" Penelope asks when my mother is not close anymore.

"Yeah." Simon says to her and turns to me. "I know we sounded crazy, but we don't think more people should know about this." He says and I frown. "Is not that I don't trust your mother, but it is better not keep telling people that I'm a power generator."

"Okay, I see your point." It's true if someone with bad intentions finds this out, Simon would be in danger. "I have to go lay down, I feel like you drained me," I say.

"Yeah, I feel the same." He says.

When I leave, he and Penelope stay behind, still talking. It was nice to be a part of their team for the day. To help Simon, and not let him deal with the Humdrum by himself. Plus, I got to spend more time with him and be sure that he was not hurt.


	2. Chapter 02

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, my plan was to post only 2 chapters but the second one was getting very big, so I decided to make an extra, I hope you all like it ;)

Chapter 02

**Simon**

Penelope didn't let me have a single day alone since dragon day. She kept wanting to test the sharing magic experiment again, but I refused. I don't want to hurt her again. Once I convinced her that I wouldn't do it, she started to elaborate a theory of why my magic is compatible with Baz's and not with her's.

I didn't know why but that left me happy, it was like our magics were meant to work together, to complete one another. Like we were compatible ourselves.

These last few days I hadn't stopped in thinking about Baz either. (Something that I notice that is very current.) But not because of our magic, because of him.

He was messing with my thoughts more than usual, and like the whole "finding information about my mother" was suspended until after the Christmas break and the Humdrum had gone quiet again, I had a lot of spare time to think.

Not for the first time, I noticed how fit he was. He is. And I don't know if it is a coincidence, but after the day I complimented his hair, he started to use it like that more often. It makes him look younger and less posh. (And makes my stomach twitch.)

Slowly, more than a normal person would take (I can be very thick sometimes), I started to realize that I liked Baz, more than I thought I did. And I don't think it is only like a friend. (I mean, I never thought of kissing any of my friends.) (And I definitely thought about kissing Baz by now.) (More than once.)

Thankfully the Christmas break is coming, and I'll have time to think. So I can process everything. Especially because I'll be away from Baz. What gives me plenty of space and time to figure it all out.

"I'm so sorry that you can't come with us Si," Penny says to me.

We're having dinner and tomorrow everyone (but me) leaves for Christmas break.

"It's okay Penny. I'll be fine, don't worry." I say and I meant it, I'm okay with staying here for the next few days.

"But I won't forget to ask my mother okay? I'll make a thousand questions if I have to."

"I know." I laugh. Penny is a force of nature, you can't ignore her when she wants something.

We say our goodbyes in the courtyard, she is leaving very early the next morning, so we'll see each other only next year. Baz is not in our room when I go back, but his clothes are in his bed and his suitcase is on the floor.

I took a shower and went to sleep, I woke up extremely early this morning (nightmares again) and was almost sleeping the whole day. Incredibly I'm so tired, that I don't have dreams or nightmares. I just sleep.

The next morning I wake up with Baz cursing something. I open my eyes, sitting slowly and see Baz putting his clothes (that were on the floor) on his suitcase.

"Good morning?" I say, almost asking him.

"Oh, hey, sorry I didn't want to wake you, Snow." He says running to take something in the bathroom.

"That's okay," I say yawning.

"You're waking up late, I thought Bunce was leaving this morning, your things are already packed?" He asks, surprised.

"What things?"

"Your clothes and stuff." I frown in confusion. "You're not taking anything to Bunce's house? Or you'll stay at Wellbelove?" He keeps putting things in his suitcase.

"Oh. I'm not going anywhere." He stops and turns to me.

"What?"

"I'm staying in Watford," I say with a shrug.

"Why?"

"Penny is going to Greece and my friendship with Agatha is not in the best moments, so I'm staying."

"No, you're not." He says and I frown at him. "You're going home with me."

"What? No Baz, there's no need, really, I don't mind being here." (Also I don't know if it is wise being near you right now.)

"But I do. You won't spend the holidays alone in Watford, Simon." I truly like it when he calls me by my first name. "My mother had already told me to invite you, but I thought you had a place to stay." I open my mouth to argue but he cuts me. "I won't accept a no as an answer, start to pack your things, we're already late."

I know I lost the discussion already, so I just go to the bathroom, change my clothes and in ten minutes I'm ready.

"Already?" Baz asks me when he sees that I'm waiting for him.

"Yeah," I say, a bit embarrassed. "It is not like I have too many things to take with me." Actually, I just have a bag with a few clothes.

"Okay." I don't recognize the look Baz gives to me. Pitty maybe? "Let's go then?" He asks and I nod still a bit afraid.

We leave our room together and we find Headmistress Pitch at the courtyard waiting.

"Why did it take so long, Basilton?" She asks before she could see me.

"Sorry mother, we have a last-minute guest." He points at me.

"Simon." She smiles at me. "I'm very glad you are coming with us."

"Thank you for inviting me." I smile back.

"Is our pleasure." She says and indicates a car.

I get in the backseat, already predicting how sick I'll be. I was thinking Baz would go in the front seat, so it is a happy surprise when he sits by my side. Only then I spot the driver.

"You must be the chosen one." She smirks at me.

"Uh… Hi." I say not sure of what to say.

"Don't call him that," Baz says. I mentioned once how much I hate when people called me that. I smile thankfully to him. "Simon, this is my aunt, Fiona."

"It is nice to meet you," I say to her, but she's already talking to Headmistress Pitch while we leave Watford.

**Baz**

I look at Simon at my side in my aunt's car, wondering how I will manage to have him only for me in the next few days. (I mean not only to me, but his friends won't be there.) (Neither mine.)

His eyes are closed, but he's not sleeping. He's forcing his eyes to stay closed and he doesn't look okay.

"Are you okay?" I ask worriedly.

"Yeah." He doesn't open his eyes. "I get carsick." He says.

"Oh. There's something I can help with?" He shakes his head.

"Just talk to me, maybe if I get distracted I'll get better."

"Okay," I say. " So, I didn't ask you before, but did you talk to Penelope about your mother?"

"Yeah. She'll talk to her mother to know more things, so I'll have to wait." He looks like he’ll throw up.

“Do you want me to cast something to make you get better?” He shakes his head.

“No, soon I’ll be okay.” He opens one eye. “But are we close to your house?” I laugh.

“Only some minutes away.” He doesn't answer anything, just closes his eyes again.

I don't say anything else, just keep thinking about how these next days will be. I look to Simon sometimes, to make sure he is okay. (And also because he looks extremely gorgeous.)

When my aunt stops the car, ten minutes later, he opens his eyes and looks at me.

"Please tell me that this is your house." I laugh, it is so easy to be around him.

"Welcome to Pitch's manor, Simon."

"Thanks, Crowley." He says opening his door. He leaves the car and stops turning to me. "This is your house?" He asks me and I nod. "It's huge."

"Come on," I say to him. "Let's get inside, so I can take you to your room and then go to lunch. I'm sure you're hungry."

"You really know me." He laughs.

My mother and aunt were already in the house, so I took Simon inside. Once we pass through the door he stops again.

"Your house is haunted?" He seems to be truly scared.

"Don't tell me you're scared."

"I should be?" He looks at me, but then Vera (a Normal who used to be my nanny and still takes care of me) appears.

"Mr Basil." She says to me. "I'm glad to see you at home. I made your favourite cookies." She always makes cookies for me, and I never dared to tell her that they weren't my favourites since I was a child.

"Cookies?" Simon asks behind me and I roll my eyes. Vera looks confused at Simon.

"Vera this is Simon, a friend from school, Snow this is Vera," I say. 

"She'll feed us, so treat her well." He smiles at her.

"You're my favourite person here already."

"Come on, we'll come back for the cookies."

I take him to the guest room and he leaves his bag over the bed. The room is only a few doors away from my room, but for me, it is too distant, he sleeps only a few inches from me in school. (But maybe that would be okay, maybe it's good that he'll be away from me).

Snow looks divided and scared and fascinated with my house. He insisted that his room (the guest room) was haunted. It was, but I wouldn't tell that to him.

When we are finally (in Snow's words) eating, he asks.

"What will we do today?"

"What do you want to do?" I ask him.

"I don't know. Usually, I don't do anything on these holidays. When I was at Agatha's place we would just watch TV." He shrugs. "What do you do during the holidays?"

"Usually just practice on my violin or read a book," I say.

"We could do that. I can watch you practising if that's okay for you."

"Are you sure? You may be bored."

"No, I always liked to hear you playing." I look away. Snow can't say nice things to me just like that.

"Thank you," I say. "Let's go then."

**Simon**

We've been in the library for the last 2 hours, but it doesn't seem. Baz is playing his violin and I'm sitting watching him. Really watching him. He had his eyes closed for almost the whole time, which allowed me to look at him better.

He's so concentrated in his music, that he doesn't notice me staring at him. He looked so good like this. (Like he always does). I don't know how I was so fucking blind. Of course, I liked Baz. I always did. I always wanted him to be close. To be talking to me, helping me.

I always watched his football practice, and if I'm being honest, I never care about football that much. And even when I was with Agatha, my feelings for her weren't right. In summer I missed more Baz than her, and even though we weren't exactly friends, once I was back at Watford, at him, everything was better.

I still don't know how to deal with it. What I was supposed to do with that revelation? Baz was starting to be like his old self with me. I didn't want to scare him, to make him stay away again. I would rather bury these feelings than losing him for real.

"Still not bored?" Baz's voice brings me back from my thoughts.

"No, it is very relaxing actually."

"Good to know, I'll start to practice in our room then." He smiles and then starts to put his violin back in the case. (A very posh one.) "Do you wanna see a movie?" He asks.

"Yeah, it's been a while since I watched something, the last orphanage I was didn't have a tv." I huff a laugh and Baz looks weird at me. Like he pities me. It happens every time I say something related to the time I spent in care. Luckily he doesn't say anything about it.

"Come on then." And then I follow him to his room.

His room is big, with a huge amount of red on the walls. And if I didn't think his house was haunted before, I would now. His bed has fucking gargoyles on it. I look with a bit of fear to it.

"Sit Snow," Baz says sitting in his bed. "They're just carved on the wood." He points at the gargoyles. "It won't attack you." I do as he says, but still afraid.

His bed is big enough for me to sit by his side and still be comfortably away from him. (Comfortably to not do something stupid as holding his hand or laying on his shoulder.) (Although that seems amazing.)

He puts a movie on his TV and we start to watch it in silence. After some minutes we hear some loud voices, I think it is Baz's mum and aunt, they seem to be arguing.

"Sorry," Baz says. "They always argue when my aunt comes back."

"Comes back from where?"

"She is trying to trace the Humdrum. She goes to dead spots and places where people say they felt it, but usually, it leads her to nothing." He sighs. "My mother thinks she should stay and help here, and Fiona thinks she'll find the Humdrum waiting for her at one of these places."

"You think she's wrong?" I look at him and he shrugs.

"Possibly. The Humdrum only appeared in physical form to you, so it is unlikely that she'll find something." We stay in silence for a couple of minutes. "Just don't let her know that, or she'll take you with her." He laughs.

"Maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea." I shrug. "I hate just waiting for it, for whoever is the treat of the time."

"You're doing what you can, no one is having better luck."

"I know." I sigh. "I'm just tired. I would rather face the Humdrum once for all and be over with it, no matter how it ends."

"It'll end with you finishing the Humdrum and saving us." He says.

"You really think that?" I ask.

"Of course, you are the chosen one. I know you hate being called like that, but it is true."

"Yeah, but destroying the things that he or it, sends to me is kinda easy. But I don't know how to face it, the Humdrum itself. I don't know if my magic will be enough. And even if it is, how do I know that I'll have enough control to use it?" He takes my hand and squeezes.

"You'll destroy the Humdrum. I felt your magic Simon, and even I who have more magic than others, it was too much. It is like you have the infinity in your chest pocket. As for the control, we could train. I could help you."

"Thank you, but I don't know if it'll work, the few times I tried, really tried to control my magic I ended up going off. And I don't wanna go off on you, I don't know if I would be able to shield you."

"Good thing that I'm the one who can calm you down then." He gives me a smile and his cheeks blush. (How I never noticed how lovely he is when his cheeks blush?) "Let me help you." He squeezes my hand again and I squeeze back.

"Okay. I'll take your help." I smile at him. "Thank you, Baz."

**Baz**

It's dark already when my mum calls us to have dinner. Simon and I spend the last couple of hours training his control over his magic. His concerns in facing the Humdrum made me think about what would happen if he wasn't able to defeat it.

In my head, it was clear that he would defeat it for sure. He always wins, no matter what the Humdrum sends it or how hurt he is after. But the Humdrum was stronger, different and maybe go off it wouldn't help, it would only hurt Simon. Maybe hurt in a way he couldn't recover after. I can't let that happen. I can't lose him. Even if I don't have him, not for real.

Simon goes to his room to shower and I go to mine. Still thinking about how I could help him, how I could assure that he'll survive the humdrum. I put on my clothes and leave my room still thinking.

"Baz, I was waiting …" Simon starts to talk when he sees me, but stops, looking a bit shocked and says. "Baz, you're wearing jeans."

"Good observation," I say, trying not to blush.

"I never saw you in jeans before." He rubs the back of his neck.

"Do you think I stayed at home wearing suits all the time?" I raise an eyebrow at him. (Bold of me assume that he does think of me when we are out of Watford.)

"Yeah, I think so." He laughs a little embarrassed. (Not so bold of me then.)

"Come on, let's have dinner." The word 'dinner' seems to bring him back to reality.

We went to the dining hall, where my parents were waiting for us. They both turn when we pass the door.

"Snow, do you remember my father?" I ask.

"Uh … Yeah, I mean yes. Hello, Mr Grimm thank you for receiving me." My father extends his hand and takes Simon's.

"Nice to have you here Mr Snow." He sits on his chair.

My father wasn't a big fan of talking, my mother used to do all the talking for him.

"Please, sit Simon." My mum says showing him the chair by my side.

"Thank you."

"Where's Fiona?" I ask sitting.

"She didn't want to stay for dinner." My mother says. "She'll come back tomorrow to Christmas Eve." I nod to her and then the food is served.

Simon looks amazed at the sight of food. Of this much food. And then I feel bad because I guess he doesn't eat well in the summers. Actually, I don't guess, I know. (He always looks so thin when the classes start.)

He puts a little of everything on his plate and then starts to eat with enthusiasm, and even though his manners are something that I usually teased him about (or used to when we were younger and friends) (but I guess we are friends again now), today I don't. I'm glad he's here.

My father, though, does look a bit disgusted with Simon, and I don't think it is only because of the way he eats. He must be hating that a boy is staying over with us, even if he's just a friend. My father doesn't know for sure that I'm gay, I never told him, but by now he must figure it out. Every time some friend of mine appears or if I talk about some boy, he instantly wrinkles his nose. And he never was too much fond of Simon like my mother. Or me. (Thanks Crowley for that.)

"So, Simon." My mother says calling his attention. "I was thinking about Lucy Salisbury,'' He drops his fork. "and I remember her mother. She is a good friend of the Wellbelove's."

"Her mother?" He asks in surprise. "As in my grandmother?" My mother nods to him.

"Yes. I think she's out of town for the holidays, but I can manage for you to go see her when she comes back." She says. "If you want of course."

"Yeah …" He nods. "That would be nice." His voice is low. "Thank you." My mother smiles at him.

The rest of the dinner is silent. Simon keeps eating (with less enthusiasm than before), my mother keeps looking distant, probably thinking about some problem, and my father just avoids looking at Simon or me.

When the dinner is over, my mother goes back to her office to check some news about the humdrum, Simon offers his help, but she says we should enjoy our free time.

**Simon**

Baz and I end up watching another movie after dinner. I keep thinking about meeting my grandmother. What I would say to her? She would like me?

I barely say one word in the whole movie, but I can't help thinking about the family that I just found out. And then I start to think if I will survive the Humdrum, and will get enough time to meet them.

I go to my room, so tired that I just want to lay down and sleep, but my room is (for sure) haunted and all the noises are keeping me awake. I go to Baz's room and knock on his door. He opens the door a few seconds later.

"Snow?" He asks confused.

"I can't sleep in that room, it is haunted." He laughs.

"So is the house." He opens the door more and lets me come in. "Come on, you can sleep on my couch."

I wait for Baz to give me a pillow and a blanket, and then it is easy for me to lay down and finally sleep. Baz's breathing is so familiar that it feels like home.

**…**

Baz woke me early the next morning and asked me if I wanted to train my control over magic again. I wanted to, I'll take everything I can to help me to finish the Humdrum. So, we spent the whole morning practising easy spells. I don't feel that I'm any better than before, but Baz keeps saying that I'm doing better each time.

"I was thinking," I start when we take a break " maybe I don't have to learn to control to defeat the Humdrum. We already have a solution, and I can't believe that any of us thought about it before."

"And what that would be?" He asks, raising his eyebrow.

"You and I could end it together." I listen to how that sounds and keep talking, feeling the heat on my face. "I mean, I have the magic and you the control and intelligence, I could share my magic with you and the Humdrum would be done." He looks surprised.

"Well, sounds like a plan. But I think we should keep training just for sure."

Before I could reply, Vera came to call us to lunch. As always, the slight mention of food demands all my attention and we end our training session.

"Where are your parents?" I ask when we start to eat and no one else appears.

"My father is working and my mother was called to see something with the Coven."

"Something about the Humdrum?"

"Maybe, she didn't say anything before she left."

"I want to help, I hate to stay still," I say.

"Me too." He confesses. "They treat us like children, and forget that we are adults now."

"Yeah," I say, but we don't keep talking about that subject.

Vera keeps coming all the time to see if we are eating or if we wanna more food. I always say I do. The food here was better than in Watford. What I thought was impossible.

Baz keeps looking at me all the time. It’s driving me crazy. I don’t know if he is worried about the idea I gave him, (about fighting the Humdrum together) if he’s paying attention to the amount of food I’m eating (one time I told him about how hungry I was in the summers), or if he’s just looking at me (like the way I look at him sometimes now).

If I had to choose, then definitely it would be the last one.

**Baz**

We have a lazy afternoon. After training Snow's control over his magic, and after he ate more food than I thought it was impossible at lunch, we went to the library where we both spent a couple of hours reading. Or pretending.

Simon wasn't reading the book he took it, every time I looked at him he was either looking outside the window or staring at the book without blinking. And a couple of times he was looking at me.

And I was trying very hard to pay attention to the words in front of me, but I couldn't. His presence was enough for making me distracted, but I also kept thinking in his plan to finish the Humdrum with my help. I was touched that he trusted me to help him. And if he didn't learn how to control his magic, it was a good plan.

When we were tired of "reading", Simon suggested watching a movie again, and I would never say no to sit close to him, in my room, alone, for some hours, so I just ignored the desire of pulling him to me and kissing him and took him to my room again. (In all these years, the thoughts of kissing him were very current and I started to be very good at ignoring it.)

We are in the middle of some lame movie when I remember something.

"Do you have something to wear tonight?" I ask Simon.

"I have my clothes." He answers without understanding me. "I need something different?"

"On special occasions, we have dinner in fancier clothes, or as you say in posh clothes." He laughs.

"Okay. I definitely don't have anything posh to wear." He laughs again, but his cheeks are red with embarrassment.

"I could lend you something. I can cast a spell to fit better in you." He nods and the thoughts of having Simon wearing my clothes fill my mind. (In a good way.) (An excellent way.)

I look at the clock in my nightstand and see that is almost dinner time. My parents must be at home by now.

"Do you wanna take a shower before dinner?" I ask him. "I can look for something in my clothes and leave for you in your room."

"Yeah." He looks to the clock too. "I even noticed how long we were here."

"Me neither," I say while he stands up.

"I'll leave the room's door open." I nod to him and he leaves.

I look through my suits to choose something for Simon. After a couple of minutes, I choose one that is almost new, and short for me. It would fit perfectly on him. After leaving it on his bed, I went to shower myself and then I put on a green suit that I wanted to use for some months.

"Baz." Simon knocks on my door while I put the tie on.

"Coming," I say to him.

After one last look in the mirror, I walk to the door and see myself staring at Simon. If I thought he was fucking gorgeous before, it was because I never had seen him like this.

He looks amazing in a grey suit. 

**...**

We have to wait some minutes for my mother to join us. While we wait, we have to deal with Fiona, who loves to embarrass Simon and provoke my father. He's still not happy about having Simon in here, with us. But he's smart enough to not say anything, especially because my mother likes Simon, and he knows it. (He also knows who has the real power in this house, and even I am more powerful than him.)

The dinner is served when my mother finally appears. I don't know where she was the whole day, but I would bet it was solving some problem, or at least trying to deal with it. Her face has an expression I saw only a few times, and it means that clearly, she doesn't want to talk.

Even Fiona keeps quiet, especially because she knows my mother better than me. I don't know if Snow noticed, I think he was just glad that my aunt stopped teasing him. But I noticed the dozens of weird glances that my mother was giving it to him. And that worried me. The last time she looked that way to him, it was when she told him he would have to leave Watford.

When we finish dinner my mother locks herself in her office with Fiona and tells us to go upstairs. When we reach my room, Snow looks sad, he sits on my couch without saying a word and starts to bite his thumb.

"Everything okay?" I ask him.

"She'll send me away." He says looking at me.

"What?"

"You didn't notice the way your mother was looking at me at dinner?" He passes his fingers through his hair. "She'll send me away. Probably I won't even come back from the break. Wait, this is why you invited me?" His eyes are wide.

"What? No. I invited you because I didn't want you to be alone." I sit by his side. "Simon, I don't know if she wants to send you away, but I won't let it, I promised you didn't I? I won't let anyone take you." He looks at me, into my eyes. And then he closes his own and takes a deep breath.

"I'm not ready to leave Watford." His voice is trembling. "It's the only home I've ever met. And I know I'm a shitty mage and probably the worst chosen one in history, but Watford is my place." He's crying now, so I take his hand and hold it, wanting to comfort him somehow. "Everything good in my life happened after I was in there. And I can't just walk away now, I can't leave everything and everyone. Leave Penny, Ebb, Agatha, and …" He looks at me and I feel his magic leaking like it always does when he's upset. "I can't." He shakes his head.

"Simon, I'll talk to my mother, okay?" I squeeze his hand. "They won't take you from your home, from our room, from…" Me. I don't finish the sentence out loud, I just look at him.

"If they really want that, I don't think you'll be able to stop them." He says sadly. I still feel his magic.

"Breathe Simon. Remember what I told you this morning, it is you who is in control, not your magic. You can control it." He shakes his head again, but closes his eyes and starts to concentrate.

His hands start to shake, so he closes them into a fist. And starts to breathe slowly. I kneel in front of him because I want to see him at a better angle. Then I put my hand in his shoulder.

"If it feels too much, just push a bit to me. But I know you can control it. You're better than you think."

Slowly, he stops shaking, and his magic starts to be under his control. He breathes deeply, still with his eyes closed, and only looks at me again, when there's no trace of his leaking magic.

"See?" I say smiling to him. "You can do this." He is not crying anymore. "You can control it." Without thinking I brush his curls away from his sweaty forehead.

**Simon**

Baz helped me to control my unstable magic once again. And now, he was looking at me with such affectionated eyes. Saying nice things to me. And then his fingers were brushing my hair.

"Baz." I almost whisper.

I want to lean forward to him. To close the distance between us and kiss him. But I don't know if I have enough courage. I can't avoid looking at his lips and I think he notices.

I wish I could know what he is thinking.

**Baz**

I don't know what I'm thinking.

I don't even know what is happening exactly. I was just helping Simon to calm down. But now we are staring at each other. And he said my name and I think he looked at my lips. I look at him, I know it for sure.

And everything I want is to lean forward to him. To feel his lips against mine. I lean a bit, but then I stop, worried that I could do something that could ruin this moment and this friendship.

"Simon…" I whisper too.

I don't know what I want to say to him. I just think about how it would be to feel his lips against mine, and maybe it would be worth taking that risk. Maybe I should kiss him.

"Simon," I whisper again.

I will kiss him. I have to. I have a speech in my head that I need to say to him right now.

"Baz." He whispers back.

And then he kisses me.

**Simon**

I don't know what gave me the courage to kiss Baz. I don't know if it was because of the way he was looking at me, or how he whispered my name, or because he leaned into me like he was thinking the same thing that I was.

But then I regret it because Baz wasn't kissing me back, so I probably didn't understand the moment. I start to go back, thinking about how I would explain that to him. And afraid that I would start to cry with his rejection. But when I start to pull back, Baz's hands brush my hair and then he starts to kiss me.

**Baz**

I'm kissing Simon Snow.

Simon Snow is kissing me.

I can't think of anything besides that.

**Simon**

Kissing Baz is nothing like I thought it would be. (And I thought about it. A lot.)

It's better, so much better. He's (like in everything else) perfect.

The room could be on fire right now and I wouldn't care. I wouldn't let him go.

**Baz**

Simon's lips are softer than I thought and his fingers are gentle in my hair.

I don't know how long it has been since we started to kiss. It could be a minute. An hour. I wouldn't know. (And certainly wouldn't care.)

Simon breaks the kiss first. He leans his head, his forehead touching mine.

"I …" I start to say something. I don't know what, but I feel that I need to say something to fill the silence.

"I'm sorry, I was just … I don't know … I thought…" He can't complete any sentence. (Good, he was nervous just like me.)

"Simon, breathe," I say to him. "Use your words." He nods.

"I ...I like you Baz." He looks at me. My heartbeats pounding in my ears. "I like you, and I missed you in all these years that we drifted apart, and it was so good to have you as my friend in the last months, not that I like you only as my friend … I mean I like having you as my friend …" He starts to blush and I smile at him and cut his sentence with my lips.

I break the kiss this time, ready to tell him how I feel. How I felt in all those years. But he talked before I could.

"I think I'm in love with you." My mouth hangs open (what usually happens with Simon) (I hear myself calling him 'mouth breather'), not sure of what to do or say. These are the words I wanted to hear for so long. "I don't know why it took me so long to figure it out, but since you started to talk to me again, I felt that something was different. And then I realized that the way I was looking at you was different, and the way I was feeling about you was different. Something deeper, that I couldn't explain." I run my fingers through his cheeks and then through his lips, still shocked with his words.

**Simon**

I knew that after I kissed him I couldn't keep my feelings hidden anymore. So, I told him. And now Baz was looking at me in a way that I didn't know what it meant.

"You're in love with me?" He asks, surprised. I don't know how to answer so I just nod. "I …" He clears his throat. "The first time I saw you I knew you were different from everyone else, and that I felt different about you, and I knew it wasn't because you were the chosen one. At first, I thought it was because you were my roommate and I felt that way because of the Crucible, but I saw that no one else felt that way for their roommates. With time I started to think it was because we were meant to be best friends, that not only the feeling I had but the connection we shared was because we were destined to be friends." He smiles shyly. "It was only in our fourth year that I started to understand that what I felt for you was different from what I should feel for a friend. It took me some months to see that I was in love with you. That's why I stopped talking to you." He blushes. "I didn't know how to keep being your friend knowing what my feelings really were."

He stops talking and I don't know what to say. What do you say to something like that?

"Are you still in love with me?" I ask and he kisses me.

"What do you think?" He kisses me again. "I'm still in love with you, Simon. I always have been in love with you." I kissed him this time.

**...**

I don't know what time it is and honestly, I don't care. Baz and I are on the floor, in front of his fireplace. We spent the last hours snogging, without taking a break. We did take a break now. I'm laying down in Baz's chest, watching the fire and listening to his breathing. (What I found out is that it is my new favourite place.)

"Do you think that this is why I can share my magic with you?" I look up. To him.

"I don't know. I never saw any other magician share magic as you do." He says. "Maybe it is something about your magic."

"Yeah, but I can't share it with everyone. Penny is my best friend and my magic hurt her. It didn't hurt you. Right?" He looks at me.

"Right. But I still don’t understand how it works."

“Me neither.” He kisses my hair and all the questions about my magic fade from my mind. "Why did you never say anything about liking me?" I feel his fingers tracing circles in my arm.

"Because I didn't want to lose you for real, even though I stopped talking to you, I knew that you were still there, and if I confessed my feelings and let everything confused and embarrassing for both of us? We could lose our last connection." He says. "And that was the only thing I was holding onto."

"I get it. But maybe if I knew I would have realized my feelings before either." He smiles at me.

"I doubt it. You can be very oblivious." He laughs.

"Hey," I complained about punching him (lightly) in his arm. But then I laugh too. "You may have a point."

"I do have a point."

"But you can be oblivious yourself too. The last weeks I've been staring, more than the usual, at you, and every time you came to talk to me I was nervous."

"I thought you were just being weird." He laughs again.

**Baz**

I don't know what I did to deserve this. But I'm glad I have it. Having Simon in my arms is something that I dreamed for so long, that I wanted for so long.

I'm afraid I'll wake up any second now.

"Baz?" Simon calls me after some minutes of silence. I look at him. "I don't want to pretend that this didn't happen. I don't want to forget this in the morning, and I don't wanna hide anything from anyone." I could cry right now.

"I don't wanna either. I already hide my feelings for you for too long." He looks at me biting his bottom lip.

"I … So, you, I mean, us …" He blushes and I kiss his cheek. He takes a deep breath and looks at me. "I just … I want to … Do you want to date me? Because I want to. I want to be your boyfriend." He blushes again, looking away and I smile.

"Simon." I pull gently (I'm always gentle with him) his chin, so he's looking at me. "Of course I want to. I thought I would never hear you saying this." He smiles at me.

"So, you'll be my boyfriend?" He asks grinning.

"I'll be your boyfriend." He kisses me before I could think about anything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What you are thinking of the story so far?  
Leave comments and kudos and tell me what your thoughts about the chapter.  
See you soon ;)


	3. Chapter 03

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, here is the last chapter. I hope you all enjoy ;)

Chapter 03

**Simon**

I wake up with the sun on my face. I move a bit and feel an arm around me and I can't contain a smile. I feel Baz's nose in my neck, and for his breathing, I know he's awake.

“Good morning,” Baz whispers in my ear and then kisses my neck.

“Good morning.” I turn to look at him. "Happy Christmas." I smile.

"Happy Christmas, Simon." He kisses my cheek. "What do you wanna do today?"

"Can't we just stay here?"

"I wish we could, but I think my parents would be worried and would come to look for us."

"You'll tell your parents? About us, I mean."

"To my mother, yes. Maybe it'll help convince her that you can't leave Watford. But maybe she'll put you in another room, so you can't be a distraction to my studies." I smile.

"I'm a distraction?" I ask.

"A really hot one." He says and his cheeks blush. I kiss him.

"You look so lovely when you blush, more than usual." He kisses me. "Well, I wouldn't care about the distraction, it's not like I'm the first of our class."

"But I'm." He smiles. "But I think I wouldn't mind if Bunce takes it if it means I got you." I blush this time.

"So, you won't tell your father?" I change the subject, if we keep talking like that I would keep Baz in here, snogging all day.

"I guess my mother will tell him, or he'll figure it out eventually. He's not the type to be supportive." He shrugs. "But come on, let's change our clothes, I know that if I don't feed you, your stomach will start to complain." I laugh.

"I guess you're right."

I go to my room, and luckily I don't find anyone in the hall, so I don't have to explain why I was getting out of Baz's room. I'm putting my shirt when someone knocks on my door. Baz is waiting in the hall, his hands in his pockets.

He is wearing the infernal jeans again.

"Ready?" He asks me, raising his eyebrow and almost smirking when he sees that I'm staring at his jeans again.

We go to the kitchen, where we find Vera and some other women working. They already had some food waiting for us. (This place is awesome.)

"My parents are awake?" Baz asks Vera.

"I didn't see your father, but Mrs Pitch is in her office."

"And Fiona?"

"She left yesterday."

"Okay. Thank you, Vera." Baz says, smiling at her.

We eat in silence. I keep thinking about how I'll tell Penny about Baz and I. We have a no secrets pact, but I already broke it when I didn't tell her about my feelings for Baz. But I think she'll understand. She wants my happiness, and I don't think it'll be a big shock to her, she is more perceptive than me.

"So, you already know what you wanna do today?" Baz asks me when he finishes his breakfast.

"I want to see outside," I say. "I was looking through the window of the room and your house is huge, more than I thought.”

“Okay, once you finish we can go.” He smiles at me.

When I finish my breakfast, we take our coats and go outside. We walk side by side, not knowing exactly how to walk together. When we are at a good distance from the house (the manor), I push Baz to a tree and kiss him.

“I thought you wanted to see around,” Baz says, but he’s smiling.

“Yeah, but here, outside is a perfect place to kiss you without people seeing. Not that I have a problem with someone seeing, but …” He kisses me.

“I like privacy too.” I smile.

**Baz**

Simon and I are snogging against a tree for I don't know how long. It's cold, but Simon is warming me, so it's perfect. (Anywhere with Simon is perfect.) (He is perfect.) We stop when we listen to steps coming in our direction.

"It's my mother," I say to Simon when I see her.

He steps back but keeps close to me. I want to tell my mother about Simon. About our relationship. I still can't believe we have a relationship. That we are dating. That he's my boyfriend. It's impossible to keep a smile off my face, but it fades when I see the look on my mother's face.

"Good morning boys." She tries to smile but fails.

"What happened, mum?" I ask worriedly. I don't know what I can do if she decides to take Simon away.

"I need to talk to Simon for a moment." I feel Simon's hand on mine.

"Okay," I say. "What is it?" She thinks for a moment, considering if she'll say in front of me.

"I found out the source of the Humdrum powers."

"What? Can we defeat it?" Simon asks, surprised.

"Maybe." Something is wrong. This is supposed to be good news, then why does my mother sound sad? "I start to trace the dead spots, seeing the days they were created and I found a constant."

"What is it?" I ask, afraid of the answer.

"It's you, Simon."

"What?" We ask together.

**Simon**

I'm looking at Headmistress Pitch without knowing what to say. Baz squeezes my hand and I feel better knowing that he's here with me.

"Every time you go off a new dead spot is created." She explains.

"So, I'm the real treat?" I ask.

"Sort off. You told me that the Humdrum appeared for you last year and he was exactly like you at eleven years old and you thought it was some trick. But I started looking for answers. The first time you went off you were eleven years old and you had so much magic that … "

"You created the Humdrum." Baz completes it.

"But I don't … I wouldn't …" I don't know what to say.

"You didn't know you were creating something. You even knew you had magic, but the Humdrum was made on that day. He became something apart from you. And he started to come back to provoke you." She continues explaining.

"So, Simon would keep going off and expanding the dead spots," Baz says.

"Exactly."

"But how? How did I do it?" I'm still trying to understand.

"I honestly don't know-how. Your magic is different from everything I already saw. The Humdrum is some kind of void, and he wants you to keep sucking the magic from different places, so the void, the dead spots keeps expanding."

"How do we stop then? How do we stop me?" She looks at me sadly.

And I understand.

I never would survive the Humdrum, because to stop it, we - no, not we -, they would have to stop me.

To have a world free from the Humdrum, I would have to die.

I'll have to die.

**Baz**

My mother is looking at Simon sadly and he's looking broken like he understood something that I still didn't.

"How do we stop it, mum?" I ask, having a bad feeling.

"We would have to stop the source of his power. To end it." I can see her eyes watering up.

"But you just said that Simon is the source." She nods to me and I feel the air escaping my lungs. "Do you mean …?" I can't even finish the question. Her look is the answer. "No," I say, feeling my eyes burning. "You can't …"

"Baz." Simon pulls me and I look at him. His eyes were red, but he wasn't crying. "It's okay."

"No," I say again.

"It's okay. I never really thought I would survive at the end of it anyway."

"I did. I do. You can't just … they can't kill you." I feel the tears on my cheeks.

"It's okay." He says again, this time he's crying too.

"Mum." I look at her. "Please, don't let this happen, don't do this." She is not crying, but I can see the tears in her eyes.

"I wouldn't do it if I knew some other way."

"Please mum, don't do this. I love him, don't do this." She gives me a sad smile.

"I know you do."

**Simon**

Baz is crying and I'm crying too because I don't want to see him crying. And because if I had just found out that Baz would have to die I would be just like him.

"Baz." I pull his arm and he turns to me. "It's okay, Baz," I say again because I want him to know that I accepted my fate.

"No, you can't die. You can't leave me." He sobs and I hug him, I never saw Baz crying before.

"I don't want to, the last hours were the best ones of my life. I love you." I try to stop crying. "And I wish we had more time, but right now I'm just glad we had at least some of it." I look at him, he is not sobbing anymore, but he's still crying. "It's the world of the mages who are in danger Baz, I have to do this." He leans his head to mine, so our foreheads are touching.

"I love you." He says. I wipe his tears, but he keeps crying.

"I love you too."

In one minute is like we are the only ones in the world, I even forgot that Headmistress Pitch was here. And then the air changes. It becomes itchy and dry, and I feel like I'm suffocating with it. I let Baz's go and see the Humdrum standing behind us.

"Simon," Baz says scared. "It's you."

"I'm not him." The Humdrum says.

I feel Headmistress Pitch walking to our side, looking shocked too.

**Baz**

The Humdrum just appears in front of us. And he’s Simon. He looks exactly like Simon. Or how he was when Simon was eleven years old.

We are all just staring at each other. I see my mother on Simon’s side, and I pull him to me, afraid that she could just kill him right here to end the Humdrum for good.

“You are void,” Simon whispers, repeating my mother’s words.

Then Simon starts to walk away from me, I pull his hand but he just looks at me and says.

“I have an idea. Just trust me.” I don’t wanna let him go, but I nod to him and drop his hand and he walks. I have a bad feeling about it.

When he is right in front of the Humdrum, he kneels so they stay almost at the same height. Then he says something that I can’t hear and puts his hands on Humdrum’s shoulder and they start to glow.

**Simon**

As I looked to the Humdrum, Headmistress Pitch's words came in my mind. The Humdrum is void. And maybe he wants to keep expanding this void until it is all we have. But maybe, he wants to be filled.

I walk to him, understanding what I have to do, but not knowing if it'll work. Even so, I have to try. To have a chance to end this, for real.

I kneel in front of the figure of the boy that I already was. He doesn't look so frightening anymore.

"I'm sorry that all the good things happened when I left you," I say to him, because I know that it was after that I created him that my life really started. That everything worth fighting for, came after he was created.

He looks confused at me and I think he might attack me. But I don't give him a chance. I close my eyes and feel the magic, my magic, (the one who always left me on edge so many times) running through my body, and passing to the boy in front of me.

I push more magic than I ever did. It hurts my head, and I feel like I'm gonna explode for real. But I don't. As I feel the magic leaving my body, the Humdrum starts to fade. And I start to feel weaker.

**Baz**

In one second they're in there. The Humdrum is fading slowly, and the glow around them starts to disappear. After a blink, the Humdrum is gone and Simon is laying on the ground.

Not moving.

I run to him, without thinking. The tears are again on my eyes.

He can't be dead. 

He can't.

"Simon," I shout, falling to my knees beside him.

His eyes are closed and his chest is still. I feel pure terror in my veins. It can't be. This can't end like this.

"Simon," I called again. "wake up, love. Please, open your eyes." I hear my mother's footsteps behind me. "Simon," I call again pulling his head to my lap and brushing his curls from his forehead.

"Basil." I hear my mother on my side. "Try some healing spells, I'm going to call the coven." My mother leaves running and leaves me alone with him.

"Simon." I kiss his forehead and whisper against his skin. "Come back to me, love." Before I could say anything else, Simon opens his eyes and my heart beats fast.

I cry, but this time is a relief. He's alive.

"Did it work?" He asks with a raspy voice.

"Yeah," I say, trying to stop crying. "You did it. You stopped the Humdrum." He sits slowly and turns to me.

"I gave my magic to him." He says with tears on his eyes. "It's all gone." He looks at his hands like he was waiting for something to happen. I take his hands and hold it.

"It's okay. Everything will be okay." I say in a soft voice, then I pull him to me. I'm almost controlling myself when Simon asks.

"Why are you crying?" He pushes me away so he can see me and wipe my tears.

"I thought you … you were…" I stopped talking before I could sob again. And then Simon hugs me again. "I'm sorry, about your magic," I say.

"Yeah." He says sadly. "At least the Humdrum is gone too."

"You saved us, Simon. I always knew you would." I look to him and see that he frowns at my words, but doesn't reply.

"Simon." My mother calls surprised when she comes back.

I help him to stand and we walk to her. After we explain what just happened, she takes us both inside.

**Simon**

The next couple of days are a blur in my mind. I just keep answering the coven's questions and sleep a lot. Baz never leaves my side, even when I'm sleeping, what is good because his presence makes me feel better.

Headmistress Pitch comes to talk to me lots of times too and I know she is worried about me. Every day I get a little better but it is inevitable to feel a void inside me. Not to feel the magic that was always under my skin.

But I'm glad the Humdrum is gone. He was created because of me, so it seems fair that I destroyed him. I also feel that with all the bad the Humdrum did, that I did, it was more than fair for me to lose my magic.

I wake up on the fourth day after that day, with some high voices around me. I take some seconds to recognize Baz and his mother's voices. Baz sat by my side, his hand holding mine and his mother were standing beside him. She stops talking when she sees that I woke up.

"Good morning, Simon." She smiles at me and Baz looks at me too.

"Hey, good morning." He says in a soft voice.

"Hi," I say sitting. "Something happened?"

"We were just discussing some things about our return to Watford." She says.

"When you are going?" I ask and Baz seems confused with my words.

"In five days. But you can come back with us." She says.

"I don't… I can't." I say shaking my head.

"Of course you can. Watford is your home." Baz says squeezing my hand.

"Not anymore." I feel the tears in my eyes.

"Simon." Headmistress Pitch says coming to my side. "I'll understand if you don't want to come back, with everything that just happened. But you'll always have a place in Watford, okay?" I nod.

"I just don't think I can come back," I say and then I freeze because where could I go? She must see it in my eyes because she says.

"Okay. Meanwhile, you can stay here." She smiles warmly at me. "I should have done this before, but I can't change the past, so from now on this is your house, you won't go back to the orphanage's." She holds my other hand and squeezes.

"Thank you, I don't know what to say." She stands.

"You don't have to say anything, just stay." I nod and she looks at her watch. "I need to go, but if you both need something, just call me." She smiles at us and then leaves.

"Simon, you know that no one will say anything to you if you come back, right?" Baz says after his mother closes the door.

"I know. It's just … I can't go back there now. Watford was my home when I had magic when I was one of you. I'm not a magician anymore. I don't belong there." I say feeling the tears falling at my face. Baz hugs me.

"You're still a magician. You'll always be a magician. But it's okay if you don't wanna go back. I understand. I just don't wanna leave you alone."

"I'll be fine," I say to him.

"Promise you'll stay here then." He says to me. "Stay here in my home, in my room. I'll manage to come to see you, I'll come every day if I have to." He says wiping my eyes. "Vera will do your favourite foods and I'll call to wake you and during lunch, and I even will ask Bunce to record my practices so you could see." I smile at him.

"I love you." I let my forehead touch his. He has been such an extraordinary boyfriend these days that even with everything that happened, I feel lighter. "You think Penny can come too?" I haven't talked to her yet, but I knew that her parents already knew about me and the Humdrum.

"Do you have any doubts?" He kisses my forehead. "She will make me bring her here daily." I smile.

"I can see her doing that." He kisses me and for a minute I forget everything.

But then a knock in the door makes both of us jump. Vera opens the door.

"Mr Snow, a young lady is downstairs wanting to see you."

"Who is it?" I ask, frowning.

"Penelope Bunce." She says and I feel my heart beating faster.

"Tell her to come here, please," Baz says.

When Vera leaves he turns to me and kisses my cheek.

"I'll leave you two to talk okay?" He asks.

"Yeah. But you don't have to."

"It's okay. I have to talk to my aunt anyway. I won't take too long." He kisses me.

"Simon …" Penny's voice makes us break the kiss. "What is going on?" She asks, surprised at the door. With so many things happening I even forgot that Penny didn't know about me and Baz.

"Bunce, how was Greece?" Baz asks.

"It was nice … Can someone tell me what is happening?" She asks, still in shock.

"I'm sure Simon will explain everything." He winks at me and leaves.

Penny keeps looking until he closes his door and only then does she look at me.

"It's very nice to see you, Penny, it seems I haven't seen you in weeks," I say and only then she comes to hug me.

"I heard about the whole Humdrum thing. How I never figured it out about your connection?" She says.

"No one did," I say shrugging.

"But I'm your best friend." She holds my hand and squeezes it. "Your magic is really gone?" She asks and I nod.

"I give it all to the Humdrum. Apparently, it was what he needed to disappear."

"I'm sorry, I know how much magic means for you." I just shrug again. "But you'll come back to Watford right?" I shake my head.

"I can't. It's not where I'm supposed to be now." I see that Penny wants to argue but she just nods.

"You'll go back to some orphanage?"

"No. I think I'm staying."

"Here?" I nod. " In Pitch's manor?" I nod again.

"I didn't think too much about it, but honestly I doubt Headmistress Pitch would leave me to go. Or Baz." She looks at me raising her eyebrow and I feel my cheeks getting warm.

"So, you two …"

"We are dating," I say looking away.

"Since when?" She doesn't sound judgemental, only curious.

"Christmas Eve." She nods.

"It makes sense. You always had this connection that I never understood." She squeezes my hand again, and just like that she forgot the subject. "I talked to my mum about Lucy." That draws my attention.

"With so much happening I even forgot about it."

"She said they were best friends since the first year, but that after they left Watford they drifted apart. She didn't know Lucy had a baby or that she was dead. Everyone just knew that she had disappeared. Her mother still lives here." I nod. "My mother said that when you feel ready, she'll answer your questions."

"Maybe in some weeks. I'm not ready to know everything now."

"That's okay. When you feel ready let me know." I nod again and stand.

"Now come on, I need to eat."

"When you don't?" She asks but goes with me.

**Baz**

It is very hard to leave Simon and go back to Watford. I almost cried, and I know he almost did it too. I'm afraid he would be alone and depressed, especially because his only company would be my father. And Vera.

At least my father started to treat him better, not great, but he talks to Simon sometimes, which is better than before. I asked Fiona to stop sometimes during the week too, just to check on him. And I know my mother would too. I would only go on weekends.

Face our room is worse than anything. I start to sleep in Simon's bed, just to have his scent around me again. We talk through the phone at least twice a day, but even that is not enough. I miss him. And I worry about him.

It is the fifth day since I got back, (which means that tomorrow I'll see him) and I'm sleeping peacefully, dreaming about some blue eyes and soft smile, when my phone wakes me up.

"Hello?" I say in a sleepy voice.

"Hi, I'm sorry, I didn't want to wake you, I just had to listen to your voice." Simon's voice wakes me. Not just his voice, the terror on it.

"Love, are you okay?" I ask worriedly. "Something happened?"

"It was just a nightmare." He says, but I know he is crying.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" He is in silence for a second but then says.

"I had my magic again. But the Humdrum was still out there and he was hurting people, and …" He sobs. "He hurt you. And even with my magic, I couldn't save you and I had to watch you die." He stops for some seconds and keeps talking. "It was so real, it felt so real, that when I woke up I needed to talk to you, to see that you were okay."

"I'm okay. It was just a nightmare. I'm fine, and tomorrow I'll be there with you." He doesn't say anything for a minute and then he sighs and says.

"The best thing about this nightmare was that now I feel a bit better about not having my magic anymore."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I had it in my dream and I still lost you. I rather have you. Always." I almost cried.

"I love you," I say because there's nothing else to say. "Do you want me to keep talking to you until you sleep again?"

"If it's okay for you." He says.

"It's. Now tell me, what have you planned for our weekend?"

As Simon talks, I keep thinking of talking to my mother to see if there's some travelling or teleportation spell that could take me to Simon some days during the week. He was having too many nightmares and I would feel better (and I know he would too) if I was there to calm him down.

**Simon**

The days soon become weeks and then months. I'm not as lonely as I thought I would be. Vera keeps me company during the day, and even Malcolm is kinda nice with me now. Fiona comes sometimes and takes me out, usually to go to London to shop with her, and Natasha (she asked me to call her that way) sneaked from Watford some days to see me too. Penny was here more than anyone (except for Baz), and sometimes she even brings Agatha with her.

But Baz is the one who more comes to see me and the one I most missed. In the beginning, he would come only on the weekends, but after I told him I was having too many nightmares, he talked to his mother and they both found out a spell that could bring him here from Watford in minutes, so some nights during the week he comes to be with me. At first, he wanted to come every night, but his mother didn't let it, afraid that could affect his studies and I agreed with her.

Thankfully the classes are almost over and soon he'll be with me. I avoid thinking in the future, but I'm a little nervous to see what's come next for me. For us.

"I thought you liked helping me with the scones." Vera's voice brings me back from my thoughts.

I was helping her to make sour cherry scones (my favourites) as I do sometimes.

"What?" I ask.

"You are frowning. There's something wrong?" She asks. "You know you don't have to help me."

"It's not that. I like to help you." I say smiling. "I was just thinking about some things, the future, and stuff." I shrug. "But I don't want to talk about that."

"What do you wanna talk about?" She asks me. "You must be happy that Mr Basil is finishing his classes." She smiles and I feel myself blushing.

"I am." I smile too. "Just two days and then he's back for good."

"You're going to the ball?"

Tomorrow it was his and Penny's (and all my colleagues) graduation, and after the ceremony, it would happen the Leavers Ball. Baz told me I didn't need to go, he was worried that I would feel bad going back to Watford, so I just agreed with him and told him I was not going. But I wanted to make a surprise, so I talked to Fiona and tomorrow she will take me there to dance with him. And to say goodbye to Watford.

"Yeah. But he doesn't know. I'll surprise him." I say smiling again.

"I'm sure he'll love it." She smiles back.

I was missing him so much. In the last two weeks, he didn't come home because he had to study and if he was here he wouldn't. So, I was anxious to see him. To have him by my side again.

Later, Fiona comes to pick me to go shopping for a suit. I said I didn't need it, (and didn't have money) but she ignored me and said it was a gift. In her words, her nephew's boyfriend had to look presentable enough. I wouldn't mind looking better to be on Baz's side, so I accept her gift.

**Baz**

My whole family is in my graduation, they all look proud and emotional (more than me to be honest). Simon didn't come. I told him not to. I imagine it would be very hard to watch all your colleagues and friends graduating when you're not. But I wanted to see him. With the finals and all, I didn't see him in the last two weeks. We talked through the phone, but it was not the same thing.

When the ceremony is over they all come to hug and congratulate me. I see my mother with tears in her eyes, but she doesn't cry. I don't cry either. I would miss Watford, of course, but it was not as bad as I used to think. Because before, when I used to think in saying goodbye, I thought it meant I would have to say goodbye to Simon too. And that was the worst part.

Only my mother stays after the ceremony. As the Headmistress, she has to be at the Leavers ball. I don't have to go. It's optional for the students and I wanted to stay in my room, maybe talking to Simon, but my mother said I had to go. She even brought my best suits so I could choose what to wear, so I really had to go.

My friends are dancing with their dates, ignoring me (they said that in the last months I have been thinking too much about Simon), and because of that, I end up at the drinks table, talking with Bunce. We became closer since the whole Humdrum - Simon thing, and we were the two persons who most cared about him.

"I have to go back home tomorrow, but you think it is okay if I stop by your house after? I want to see Simon." She says.

"Of course. I bet he's wanting to see you too."

"I can assure you that I'm." We turn and see Simon himself smiling at us.

He's wearing a dark blue suit that I never saw before, so it must be new, and it fits his body perfectly. (I already mentioned how fucking perfect he looks on a suit? Because he does.)

"Si," Penny shouts, going to hug him. He smiles at her. "I missed you."

"Me too Penny. And I do want to see you more this summer."

"I'll try to go there as much as I can." She looks at me. "And as much I'm not being an inconvenience." She smirks. "I think I'll speak with Agatha now, I'll talk to you later." She winks at us and leaves.

"Hey," I say, getting closer to him.

"Hey." He looks nervous. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you I was coming, but I wanted it to be a surprise."

"Don't say you're sorry, I love it." He smiles and takes my hands.

Some people, who are close to us, start to look with a lot of attention to our side. I never told anyone, besides Dev and Niall, that I was dating Simon. Not because I didn't want to tell, but because it was none of their business, so I kinda get it why everyone is so curious now.

But I think it won't be a shock. I mean, it's not like we were enemies before. We were close, even when we weren't friends.

"I also loved you in this suit." His smile gets bigger.

"Well, I can't take credit for it, Fiona is the one who picked it." He steps closer. "I missed you so much." He says.

"I missed you too," I say. "Do you wanna dance?" He nods. "So, what are our plans for tomorrow?" I ask when we start to move.

"I was thinking of snogging in your bed." I laugh.

"That's a great plan. I wouldn't be able to plan better myself. But I think that by now is more your bed than mine." He laughs.

**Simon**

As I dance with Baz (under the curious looks from almost everyone), I feel relaxed. Is when I remember something I have been thinking about.

"I've been thinking," I start, drawing Baz's attention. "I'm ready to talk to Penny's mum and Ruth Salisbury to know more about my mother." He looks surprised.

"That's good. You always wanted to know."

"Yeah, and now I feel that I'm okay enough, so I should go back looking for it."

"I know it is something private, but if you want company, I would be glad to go with you." I smile.

"I would love it if you'd come with me."

"Okay then." He smiles too.

We go back dancing, but I see that Baz wants to say something.

"So, I have been wondering." He says, looking nervous.

"Yeah?"

"I know you don't like to think about the future and all, but after the summer I'll start college in London, and I …" He clears his throat. "I have a flat there, well, technically my parents have a flat there, but now is mine, and I was wondering if you … if you would want to go there with me."

"Are you asking me to move in with you?" I ask with a smile.

"Yeah, I know that we are probably too young to live together and …" I kiss him. (Which seems to make everyone around us quiet.)

"I want to move in with you, love." His eyes seem to melt. Like all the times I call him like that.

"You do?"

"Of course. I missed being in Watford and seeing Penny every day, but what I most missed it was being with you. And I always sleep better when you're with me." I feel my cheeks get warmer.

"Me too." He smiles. "And I can help you, if you want, of course, to see what you wanna do. If you wanna start college or work."

"I'd like that. I just never thought I'd get a future you know?" He squeezes my shoulder. "I never thought I would live enough for it, and there are so many possibilities now, even without my magic." Then something comes in my mind, something I thought about sometimes. "Look, I wanted to ask something." He nods to me. "I've been feeling better about not having my magic, I still miss it but I'm not sad about it anymore. But I never asked you."

"Asked me what?" He looks confused.

"Are you okay with being with me even though I don't have my magic?" We stop dancing.

"What kind of question is this? Of course, I want to be with you. Always. I love you."

"I know, but you fell in love with who I was. When I had magic, I'm not like that anymore. And I'm okay about it, I just need to know if you're okay too, I know your family value power and you all are very powerful yourselves."

"Simon." He says cupping my face. "I love who you are. I love you, not your magic, you. And I don't care about power, I just care about being with you. Some months ago I thought I had lost you and that was terrifying, the image of you lying on the ground still haunts my nightmares." He sighs and leans his head against mine. "I want you in my life forever."

"Good, because I want to be a part of your life forever." We smile at each other. "I love you too, you know." He kisses me. "I just have one more question."

"Yeah?"

"Can you get some scones for me?" He laughs.

"Come on. But don't get used to it, I'll not feed you all the time when we move together." He says, but I don't think he means it.

Then he takes my hand and walks with me, everyone around us is still looking, but I don't care. I have Baz, and a future in front of me, in front of us, and that's more than I ever thought I would have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, I finished this fic. I was planing it for weeks, so it's nice to finish it.  
I loved to write a soft Baz and a friendly relationship between them since the begin.  
I hope you liked the story.  
Hope to see you in my other fics ;)

**Author's Note:**

> So, tell me, what do you think about this chapter?  
I'll try to post the next and final one as soon as possible.  
But leave comments and kudos, so I can know that you're enjoying it.  
See you soon ;)


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